Assumptions and relationships

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” — Henry Winkler

The following assumptions can become a disaster in any kind of relationship:

1. The other person always knows his/her role in the relationship: Usually the cause of problems at workplace between colleagues and in marital relationships.

2. Assume a certain kind of character based on only a couple of circumstantial incidents. While it is true that the first couple of meetings is when judgements are usually made about each other, it is not wise to make those the only basis for assuming a certain kind of behavior or character of the person. A true character of a person usually gets revealed under difficult circumstances such as with responsibility or under stress.

3. The relationship will automatically be in full bloom right from the start. These kind of assumptions are usually the cause in the relationship between in-laws and the new bride or groom, at least in traditional Indian families. Everyone involved should understand that the relationship takes time to develop.

The alternative is to constantly and consciously communicate with each other and build upon past experiences instead of assuming how the other person will react in a given situation. One should never make assumptions about how someone else is feeling or thinking in any relationship.

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